empty-handed
Idle hands are the devil’s playground, the old saying goes. Whether it’s true or not, who’s to say. But still we keep them filled and busy. We hold on to hopes and dreams. Longings and desires. Goals, expectations, and defenses. We grip on to anything to keep ourselves upright. To keep our hands from trembling.
What would it feel like to loosen your fingers? To let your knuckles relax from their clenching. To release your clasp around everything you’ve been desperately clutching.
“You don’t run down the present,” Annie Dillard says. You don’t “pursue it.” It doesn’t require “baited hooks and nets.” It can’t be caught, kept, trapped, or captured.
It’s something that you sit with. Something you lean in to and listen. “You wait for it, empty-handed,” Dillard says. And you discover some secret part of you filling, quietly, without your knowing or insistence.
May you loosen your grip even within the fear of trembling.
May you learn to wait, empty-handed.
May you be filled when you least expect it.
In case no one’s told you today, I love you with all my everything.
Being the dork that I am, one of the first things that popped into my mind after reading this was a quote from Princess Leia, "The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." The more you try to control/force something, the more that very thing will want to leave. Unclenching my hands could allow me to hold more of what I want/need in my life...and avoid being blown up on the Death Star. Thank you for the reminder.
“Release the tension”. I realized how much tension my hands were holding. I thought I was relaxed! Thanks for bringing the present to mind, Duane! I love you with all of my everything. 😊