13 Comments
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Cave Buckner's avatar

Beautifully written, Duane. I can't always see or control the depth of the tendrils that bind relationships, and that for me is the source of a haunt, whether it was romantic or a friendship. I'm surprised at the intensity of my feelings of loss when some people pass, or move on, never realizing how much I valued them in their presence. I try to be mindful of that now and have a habit of telling people how much I appreciate them. I know you do the same. Thanks for sharing.

Duane Toops's avatar

Thank you Cave! I’m really happy this landed for you. I struggled to write about this idea, and i wasn’t sure If I really landed it or conveyed all I wanted or hoped to.

You reminded of a great passage from Cheryl Strayed’s book, Tiny Beautiful Things:

“Our main obligation is to be forthright—to elucidate the nature of our affection when such elucidation would be meaningful or clarifying.”

It’s not just a good idea, it’s necessary. It’s out duty. we have a responsibility to the people we care about in our lives to let them know just how much we care about them.

Thanks as always, Cave. I appreciate you. I love you with all my everything.

Vanessa's avatar

Oh my oh my , once again, what a banger! So so poignant, so so timely 🙏

Duane Toops's avatar

Thank you, Vanessa! It always makes me smile to the work resonates with you! Thanks for all your support!

James Hart's avatar

I believe there’s a kind of spectral residue as well, Duane. (For example, everything has at least a physical and emotional dimension. How I feel about my teacup has nearly nothing to do with its material properties and most to do with the fact that it belonged to my great grandmother.) Some parts of the emotional world are unpleasant to navigate, to be sure, but I’m still glad they’re available to us.

Duane Toops's avatar

The teacup is a beautiful example, James! Nothing is ever just what thing. It is what it’s made of. It is it’s components. But it’s also the qualities of it’s history and it’s story. It is a composite of it’s relations. Thank you!

Celia Crane's avatar

Indeed. We are never truly alone.

Jennifer Love, MD's avatar

Love both essays. Ghost is beauty and softness and gritty obsession; the transforming of someone into something they aren’t, and then desperately mourning the loss of what could never be. And she wrote it at 26.

Duane Toops's avatar

Much appreciated

Kim Nelson's avatar

'tenderness needs tending to' and 'corresponding to a division' are stunners, Duane. But it is you words, your talent for stringing them together in just the right way, that brings me back again and again.

Duane Toops's avatar

Oh, Kim! Thank you! I was really hesitant about this piece of writing. I was concerned it might be vague or maybe even slightly esoteric, so I’m so happy to hear it struck a chord for you. Thank you for all your kindness and support! I love you with all my everything!

Michael J Gillette's avatar

Fantastic. Might as well just be a poem to accompany all the wow-worthy collage work.

Duane Toops's avatar

Thank you so much Michael! I have a sense that you can relate to this feeling.

Writing is always difficult for me, and maybe it’s because I’m always trying to find and work from porous space between prose and poetry.

Thanks again my friend! I appreciate you!