only if we're here
Arthur Schopenhauer says that "our existence is happiest when we perceive it least". Because of this he says that "it would [then] be better not to have it."
Most of the time I relish Schopenhauer's curmudgeonly pessimism. There's a cushiony comfort to it. A worn fabric welcome. His world-weary cynicism, his immense lack of fucks-given, fits in all the right places. Slips on perfectly.
In this case, however, I feel differently.
It's not that I disagree with him. It's that I want to. Or, perhaps, more accurately, I want to want to.
There's a certain kind of perception-less-ness that all makers experience and crave. "[A] passionate desire," Rebecca Solnit says, "an urgent need". A deep and unrelenting demand "to become no one and anyone, to shake off the shackles that remind you who you are, who others think you are." A kind of contented oblivion.
It's not a lack of focus or attention. It's not that all perceiving falls away. It's that perceiving and activity achieve such an at-one-ment, such an equilibrium, such a simultaneity, that they become the same thing. Such a rich and dense access to the present-tense that there isn't enough distance to separate the two.
Maybe it's not even that we perceive less, but simply differently.
In an unexpected instance, despite the noise, and the absurdity. Despite the weight of existence pressing in and all the suffering it brings, we forget everything. A strange and beautiful stupidity that makes it all worth living.
And it's only if we're here that it happens...
And it's why we need it even, and especially, when 'here' is the hardest place to be...
P.S. I received a great message from
Barnard earlier this week. Richard is an incredible photographer and artist( IG here), and I count myself extremely lucky to have him as a paid subscriber. Richard sent me a collage he made after watching a couple of my process videos (this one and this one).
I love what he’s done here, the color palette, the use of fragmented type and the way he establishes a hierarchy. But, what’s really interesting is that he made it from enlarging a section of a previous collage (a method I’m quite fond of).
Honestly I think both pieces are exceptional, and I’m beyond humbled that any of my weird processes would inspire such great work! Thanks again, Richard! You really made my day!
P.P.S. - Earlier this week I made a few collage material grab bags; curated assortments of found vintage ephemera, as well as collage papers I’ve made myself. All things I use in my own work. I’ve made a few more to restock my shop. If you’re interested you can find them here.
P.P.S. ICAD - Day 272-275 - all the collages featured in this newsletter (with the exception of Richard’s) are available for purchase here.
Reminds me of the concept of “flow.” Intuition takes hold, and the excess perception falls away.
Love these. They are visceral in the most unassuming way somehow…. Like an “expensive” jazz chord. Keep playing!!