28 Comments
User's avatar
Sara Santa Clara's avatar

As I read this, Leonard Cohen's song started playing in my head:

"There is a crack, a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in"

It took me a long time to understand these lines. I think I do now.

Duane Toops's avatar

Sara! Those exact lines are always living in my head. I’m so glad you made that connection! Thank you Sara! I love you with all my everything.

Abbey Wade's avatar

“Let your grief and longing stretch across the horizon in the bruised hues of a new day’s fire dawning.” Absolutely stunning.

Your words are paintings. For someone who thinks with vision, I always look forward to reading and seeing what you have to say. What a gift you get to hold.

I’m so glad you’re here.

I love you with all my everything.

Duane Toops's avatar

Thank you! you know I’m just realizing that i still work visually even when I’m writing, and I think that’s one of teh many reasons it’s hard for me. It’s not the words and phrases that enter my head first, its snatches of images that i then I have to figure out how to describe and explain verbally. Makes me happy that it lands for you. Love you with all my everything too!

Abbey Wade's avatar

That’s so interesting!! I’ve never heard you say that before, but it makes so much sense! That’s exactly how I operate mentally and I don’t find a lot of people who understand it. I wrote something awhile trying to explain it and maybe I’ll look for it… but I think I described it as a sort of kaleidoscope of moving shapes and images sometimes. Words and letters show up as images. I see them being written out in my mind while I also see the things themselves take shape.

I can see how that would be hard for you to write. I actually find it refreshing to get the words out.. but it’s also why I don’t read a lot ;-). I’m reading all flippin day up there!

Jill McDougall's avatar

I love knowing this about both of you! I don't write as much as you all do, so I'll have to pay attention next time I sit down to write - I want to see how the words originate for me now. Abbey, the kaleidoscope of moving shapes and images- way trippy and cool. I knew I liked you! ;)

Abbey Wade's avatar

Haha of course you’d love that! My hippie trippie sister ❤️❤️❤️

It’s really something I never knew was ‘different’ as a kid because I was too shy and sheltered to express a lot But the more I got older, I realized it’s not how everyone’s mind works!

I am FASCINATED by brains and human behavior

Duane Toops's avatar

In the moment, trying to parse through the fragments of images, it doesn’t feel fun, but taking a step back there’s something kind of lovely there I suppose.

Emily Foucart's avatar

Hell yeah! I prefer living all the harsh emotions than the greyness.

And that first piece! It hit hard, too. Powerful.

But wait… do I see big, bold paint marks right in the middle of it?!??!!?!?!???!!??!!!!!

Brilliant ! 😃

Duane Toops's avatar

Thank you!! Same!! I made an attempt at doing some mixed media papers over the weekend. It didn’t go well. I didn’t make anything I was happy with and I doubt any of it will be usable but I got lucky with this one. Thanks again!

Patris's avatar

Somehow you reach me like those images, words, certain music I collect in some back of mind list does - and manage to stun me every time.

you are loved by many, myself among them.

Duane Toops's avatar

I’m incredibly humbled and honored to be on that list. I love you with all my everything, Patris. Thank you for all your amazing support!

Kay's avatar

Every heartbreak is testament to the truth of your capacity for loving.

This matters.

So, knowing that, and brave enough to still be here, daring to be present, maybe then move to dare further?

To then move to swim upwards through the grey, breaking through the surface of that sea, to rise up into the glimmer and promise of a new dawn.

Duane Toops's avatar

An absolutely stunning perspective! It’s beautiful the way you pushed this idea. May we all find a way to rise up and emerge.

Jill McDougall's avatar

"Every heartbreak is testament to the truth of your capacity for loving." Well, dang. That's just beautiful! As is everything in here...as usual. You're awesome, bestie!

Duane Toops's avatar

Too kind bestie. Love you with all my everything.

Invisible's avatar

This is my rawness. Thank you Duane. Your words are so beautiful. M

Duane Toops's avatar

Thank you so much Martha! It means a lot to me!

Donn Dobkin's avatar

Fabulous. I've been away for a bit, and came back to this, which hit the spot perfectly. Thank you.

Duane Toops's avatar

Welcome back Donn!! Great to see you! I’m really happy this resonated with you! Thank YOU for reading and for taking the time to comment! Means a lot to me.

James Hart's avatar

Absolutely, Duane, gotta do it anyway. To paraphrase Bukowski, "the more you learn to do it, the more light there will be."

Duane Toops's avatar

Any comment including a Bukowski quote automatically becomes my favorite! well done James! haha! i appreciate you my friend! Love you with all my everything.

James Hart's avatar

My man. :) You too, Duane!

Kathryn Kcyama's avatar

Thank you, Duane.

Duane Toops's avatar

Of course!

Danny Toops's avatar

Boom