this is how it starts
For some, an optimistic outlook is an attribute. An inherent quality. An aspect of one's personality. A trait. But for some of us, it's something that can only be arrived at through the rigors of intention, commitment, and fortitude. For some of us, optimism, like depression, is not as simple as a switch that can flipped on and off again at will.
Some rise from the ashes. Some put on sack cloth and sit in them. Some of us require a period of penitence and mourning before we can get back up again.
It's not that we don't care. Quite the opposite. We harbor a hope almost too heavy to hold. Almost too big for our souls to bear. And we are heartbroken to watch it erode, fade, and atrophy.
Some find silver-lining in a cloud. But some of us have to mine for it. Some of us only get it through grit, and muscle, and persistence. Through digging deep into dark places. Through a sheer force of will.
But that's why we need artists, writers, poets, musicians, and makers.
"What is a poet", Kierkegaard asks? "An unhappy man who hides deep anguish in his heart, but whose lips are so formed that when the sigh and cry pass through them, it sounds like lovely music".
It's someone who can fashion something elegant from despair and agony.
Someone who can find the smallest of embers in the bleakest parts of their hearts, and paint ochre dreams of fire across the walls.
"[H]ope is optimism with a broken heart" Nick cave says, and this is how it heals.
This is how it starts.
**Special thanks to
for inspiring this piece, obviously. If you haven’t checked out his newsletter, please do!P.S. - all the art in this newsletter is available for purchase here.
P.P.S. - ICAD Day 262-264
"What is a poet... It's someone who can fashion something elegant from despair and agony.
Someone who can find the smallest of embers in the bleakest parts of their hearts, and paint ochre dreams of fire across the walls."
These lines released a pressure snuggling in my core and pressed up the well of tears. Suddenly I could see: This is me. This is me.
What a beautiful contemplation of how artists move through chaos.