Simple things are hard for me. No matter how easy it is, you’ll find me in a corner somewhere overthinking something elementary.
Something like sketchbooks.
I fantasize about being the kind of person that always carries one. That constantly works in it. Always experimenting. Rough drafting. Playing.
And yet, despite all my efforts and attempts, regardless of my romanticism, I look at the shelf and see the sketchbooks I’ve never finished and the ones I’ve never even opened.
Why would this time be any different? Perhaps it won’t. Perhaps it will be. Who’s to say?
Lately I’ve been scraping against a sense of disillusionment, a sense of anhedonia, and apathy.
Maybe it’s the depression. It’s always with me but it gets worse this time of year. It’s like something in my brain chemistry and neural wiring knows that the light is in shorter supply, and my mind starts to follow suit. Staying darker, for longer, more persistently.
Diane Ackerman says that “The more an animal needs to learn in order to survive, the more it needs to play.” If I need to learn to survive differently, I know I need to learn to play in different ways.
I’m working with a cheap composition notebook. Nothing special. Nothing of value. Nothing with the weight or pressure to make something great.
I scribble on the page before I get started so that it’s already ruined, already marred, already defaced. Until there’s no more need to be precious about anything.
I respond with magazine fragments. Little things cut without any precision or delicacy. I use them to cover the marks I don’t like, placing them where there might be some compositional intrigue.
I try not to think about it. I keep it small. I keep it simple. I turn the page. Maybe that’s the trick to everything…
P.S. ICAD Day 101 - 103 - After some thought I decided to keep going with the index card challenge. It’s become such an integral part of my daily practice and my way of workshopping ideas. I’m just not ready to stop yet.
P.P.S I picked up my pieces that where features in the Paint It Black exhibit at the House of Shadow in Tampa. They’re all framed and wired for hanging, but I just don’t have room for them. If you’re interesting in purchasing, feel free to send me a message.
proof - $50 + plus shipping
every possible angle - $ 50 - plus shipping
separates - $75 + plus shipping
I’m a sucker for a comp notebook, and all of my recent collages I’ve shared are from a half composition notebook. I think these are some of my favorites of your collages. Sketchbooks are sacred spaces that meet us where we are. Keep it up, no matter the frequency
Delighted to hear you're keeping up the index card challenge, I'm a little addicted.