These moments shape us don’t they? Born from regret and raw truth when we’re unprepared. Without them, would our creativity or love run so deep? Your words to your daughter become part of her Elsewhere; that fragile space between past and possibility. It’s there, in that quiet ache, that we grow. And sometimes, that’s all we have left.
Thanks for sharing this Duane. This is a great point you make on time perception and emotions: "Time expands and contracts differently when your insides are busy tearing themselves away from the outer world." This is a deep observation that many will overlook.
This made me cry. You put it so beautifully when you talk about too-much-ness and not-enough-ness, and how real love means that all those parts of us are accepted, embraced, and understood by someone else. I'm wondering if you shared this piece with your daughter? It's so rich and honest. Thank you so much for sharing it here.
Thank you Anne! I love that you felt this in a deep way. It’s taken me such a long time to learn so much of this. In fact so much of it I’ve only learned recently. Some of it I think I only started to understand in the process of the writing.
I actually did make it a point to share it with my daughter. It’s not something I’ve ever done before, but it felt like the right thing to do. I told her that I was having a ‘weird dad moment’, that I wrote something to her/for her, that she didn’t have to read it but I wanted her to know that was thinking about her and I love her. She didn’t say much in reply, “oh my”, lots of emojis crying, and she told me she loved me too. After all, what more profound thing is there to say, really. Thanks again.
Yes!! I'm so glad you comments on the brass balls line, I was hoping someone would! You were the first! Thrilled to hear our daughters share that in common!
Oh, thank you Erica. I’m not saying I was tearing up while I was writing it and proof-reading it, but there was definitely something in my eye, haha. Thanks again!
Thank Brian! I started slowly integrating them a while ago and I don’t know what it is but I just can’t get enough of them. They just seem to add so much more dimension and movement.
I really appreciate it. The collages are inspiring as usual and very evocative while reading your story. This sentence made by teary eyed:
“ You’re only too much or not enough to someone who doesn’t see you. In the right gaze you will be the enough that there’s never enough of and all your muchness will fit perfectly.” It’s the truth.
You shared much wisdom and much love with your daughter! ❤️
Thank you so much! So much of this occurred to on a surprisingly emotional run haha, and felt that same kind of teary-eyed-ness writing it when I finally made it home. It’s taken me far too long to learn it, and somedays its still hard to remember. But I’m glad it’s something I was finally able to give her.
These moments shape us don’t they? Born from regret and raw truth when we’re unprepared. Without them, would our creativity or love run so deep? Your words to your daughter become part of her Elsewhere; that fragile space between past and possibility. It’s there, in that quiet ache, that we grow. And sometimes, that’s all we have left.
"fragile space between past and possibility" - Well Damn it, that is gorgeous!! thank you for this ;-)
“Times and spaces still viscerally palpable though no longer present or tangible. Places that only exist in the heart’s imagination.”
.
Your willingness to express your search through images, colors, shapes, and find a name for these places: Elsewhere. canvas for great work, Duane.
Thanks so much Ann! It's the seeking that always matters more than the finding.
Thanks for sharing this Duane. This is a great point you make on time perception and emotions: "Time expands and contracts differently when your insides are busy tearing themselves away from the outer world." This is a deep observation that many will overlook.
It’s wisdom - everyone young will avoid it - and perhaps rightly so.
Only when we’ve lived long enough we recognize it.. at least in my experience.
The hardest truths are often the most important, sometimes we only get to learn them the hard way.
Truth
🙏🙏
In my experience, love given wisely can still hurt. Even so, it is still better to have loved because love is what we are.
you're absolutely right! Love is always we are - so beautifully said!!
This made me cry. You put it so beautifully when you talk about too-much-ness and not-enough-ness, and how real love means that all those parts of us are accepted, embraced, and understood by someone else. I'm wondering if you shared this piece with your daughter? It's so rich and honest. Thank you so much for sharing it here.
Thank you Anne! I love that you felt this in a deep way. It’s taken me such a long time to learn so much of this. In fact so much of it I’ve only learned recently. Some of it I think I only started to understand in the process of the writing.
I actually did make it a point to share it with my daughter. It’s not something I’ve ever done before, but it felt like the right thing to do. I told her that I was having a ‘weird dad moment’, that I wrote something to her/for her, that she didn’t have to read it but I wanted her to know that was thinking about her and I love her. She didn’t say much in reply, “oh my”, lots of emojis crying, and she told me she loved me too. After all, what more profound thing is there to say, really. Thanks again.
Well dang, this was such a beautiful poignant post.
Thank you so much! It took me by surprise when this writing showed up, I don't know why it did or why it came from, but I'm glad it found me.
Beautiful, Duane.
Thank you Davin!
So well shared. Cheers to your daughter and her brass balls.
I have a daughter built of the same emotions and strength ♥️
Yes!! I'm so glad you comments on the brass balls line, I was hoping someone would! You were the first! Thrilled to hear our daughters share that in common!
Okay, goddamn. This just made me cry. x
Oh, thank you Erica. I’m not saying I was tearing up while I was writing it and proof-reading it, but there was definitely something in my eye, haha. Thanks again!
Oof, that's quite something. Goes for both the words and the pictures. 💚
Much appreciated!!
I’m loving the circles that have been weaving in and out of your work!
Thank Brian! I started slowly integrating them a while ago and I don’t know what it is but I just can’t get enough of them. They just seem to add so much more dimension and movement.
Thank you for your vulnerability!
I really appreciate it. The collages are inspiring as usual and very evocative while reading your story. This sentence made by teary eyed:
“ You’re only too much or not enough to someone who doesn’t see you. In the right gaze you will be the enough that there’s never enough of and all your muchness will fit perfectly.” It’s the truth.
You shared much wisdom and much love with your daughter! ❤️
Thank you so much! So much of this occurred to on a surprisingly emotional run haha, and felt that same kind of teary-eyed-ness writing it when I finally made it home. It’s taken me far too long to learn it, and somedays its still hard to remember. But I’m glad it’s something I was finally able to give her.
LOVE “Voluntary Simplicity” Duane.
Stellar work!
Thank you Kim! I’m fond of that one too! I appreciate it!
I saw your page, you are really talented and creative. All of them are very interesting and "sit" really well.;)
@Duane Toops Your open soul is everything. It really is, thank you for letting us all in to glimpse its beauty. 🙏✨️🪷✨️
Thank you so much for being here to share it with! That means the world to me!
Beautifully said.
Thank you Kelly!