this is beautifully written, beautifully felt. i can really relate to that feeling of embarrassment and shame around my artistic work. i too want to recede in the background, not cause a fuss. not cause any sort of emotional response in others, maybe because i feel so deeply, and it's hard for others to understand.
i also think some of it, for me, is i find it hard to explain to people who don't make work every day, don't have that obsession, that quasi-spiritual pull with art. they look at me like i'm insane. and yet, i'm finding that that embarrassment lifts when i'm showing it to other artists, people who understand that life and dedication. plus, i like to remind myself as i'm spending hours on collages or music: "it's better than Facebook." so much less embarrassing than those that bleed out their lives on social media, doing nothing but scrolling.
your collages are absolutely beautiful and deep. thank you for sharing.
Wow! Thank you for such a gorgeous reply! Every word resonates with me. The impulse, the drive, the obsession, the longing, the felt connections, and the deep spiritual need, all the things that are so prescient for the artist but almost impossible to explain to anyone who doesn’t know.
It’s of the reasons some sense of community is so integral. To be able to realize, for at least a few short moments, that you’re not crazy. To get to own your weird with others. To know that you’re ok and you’re not alone, the two things that everyone most needs. The two things that all art seeks to prove.
Great Duane! I share your experience. I remember some traveling exhibition I attended and the feeling I had and yes, something changed in the way I related to my work. Thanks for sharing.
Don't be too hard on yourself… as creative souls we all suffer through this dilemma frequently. I think it's 1) exposing a side of self in how we view the world that's touches creation yet makes a bold statement. The fears of "what if's "running rampant that underpin this feeling of exposing our art to a world that may not get what we're doing and why we create. 2) It's much like a child. Creative people tend to be protective of their voices and hands and what creative expression comes from them. We also learn how to loosen the strings and show who we are through writing. Through art. Through music and the like…
When we step out of comfort zone and shine. Look what happens. A beautiful example of stepping forward with your artistry. Art, no matter its creative expression or substrate is a powerful healing tool. Whaat I like about collage is that blend of destruction and creation. I know some people have issue with ripping and tearing books, pages, paper. I get that. I read and own books that I wouldn't destroy. At the same time it's way cool to find a book that was left to be decomposed. It gets repurposed into something beautiful and imaginative, that's enjoyed by many.
Art.is.try and ICAD and your work showcase this. Well done. Great set of ICAD's that go with your writing.
Perfectly written! Poignant and succinct! i think you're absolutely right. We are so full of worries, doubts, anxieties. So much noise clamouring. And yet, art is teh circle drawn around the quiet place in teh center of everything. The place where the silence speaks. Where we can be both armored and open. Protected and vulnerable. Strong and welcoming.
Collage as creative destruction is perfect way to put it! Love that!
Thanks so much! I always look forward to hearing from you!
Never perfect…haha. I have experienced, like all creative souls those same struggles within my own creativity and writing. I like that when we’re able to settle the noise, sit in the stillness our creativity begins to flow freely. Doubts are then distilled. It’s a good and safe place to be in. Thank you for your thoughts… they are appreciated.
I don’t tell people in real life I make art. If they ever come into my house, they might figure out that I made all the art. I am glad you got to go and be surrounded by a bunch of artists who share your love of collage, I bet it felt a bit like coming home ☺️. Thanks for this beautiful and thoughtful piece, I’ll have to reread it and think about my own motivations for being art shy.
Thanks Jenn! I think many of us find art because we find it so difficult to share parts of ourselves any other way. "Coming home" is exactly how I'd describe, exactly what it felt like, exactly what it was. It's not something I've ever really felt anywherre before. I've met people that make me feel safe, people that have allowed me to feel comfortable in my own skin. But, I've never been so fully immersed in a profound sense of beloning, like it was somewhere I've always been.
Collaging is a solitary art practice that events like Kolajfest counterbalances it. So happy to hear you had a good experience! And that you came out inspired. I have yet to attend an in person event. In the meantime, I’m excited to meet collage artist like you here on Substack! Wonderful work— let’s keep going.
Thanks Stella! It has been an absolutel pleasure getting to meet you! I look forward to seeing your work every week! If you ever get the chance to attend an event like this I highly recommend it! It really is incredible!
Thank you! Glad it's not just me! I'm so grateful I wasn't able to stay invisible at Kolaj Fest. I met so many incredible people, made so many wonderful connections, garnered so many new old friends!
Duane, as you sink deeper into the cycle of making and offering these gifts back into the world, I’m excited to see what emerges from it. Your work is individual and intriguing. I love your style.
Me encanta leer este tipo de artículos porque me siento muy identificada, hay ciertos aspectos de la vida que te llevan a buscar un lugar de refugio y el collage es uno de ellos, lo que al final resulta muy gratificante.
A lot of gold in here, Duane. I loved reading your story so much that I went back to read Part 1. I have a good feeling about Prague, sending good energy your way.
Collage as an art form is very new to me, but it’s been fascinating reading about your journey into the medium. This piece in particular shed light on what it means to you and I appreciated it very much. Beautiful work, too
Thanks for reading Taegan! I appreciate it! I've been doing collage for a few years, but it's only been in teh past two that I've started taking it seriously, that I've started to allow myself to really lean into it. To admit that it's something far deeper and more meaningful than a hobby or a way to past the time at the end of the day. It's the way I've found my creative voice. It's something akin to a vocation. It's one of the ways I feel at home in the world.
So brave of you to share your story! I was overwhelmed at the Artisan Cafe, and felt the same wanting to disappear feeling. But folks were so nice and warm and welcoming! So happy to have met you, and love your work!
Thanks Zelda! I've never met a crowd i didn't want to hide from, lol, but after a day of being at Kolaj Fest it just felt like being with family and friends. It was such a tremendous pleasure meeting you! Thoroughly enjoyed sharing a collage table table and loved getting to rip and tear with you!
Great job capturing the welcoming feel of Kolaj Fest! It really is an energizing and engaging community of artists. Warm as New Orleans in June. Glad you made it
Thanks man! I’m still reveling in the afterglow, lol! So grateful to have been there and to have met you. I will definitely be back next year and every year that follows!
So glad you found collage and are sharing your experiences. I've always considered it therapy.
It really is such a welcoming community. I think more people are also realizing it is a true art form + it's so much more accessible than most art practices.
Thanks so much Errin! Collage is absolutely therapeutic for me. It’s my greatest source of catharsis. Over the past couple years I’ve found that it’s becomign an extension of my meditation practice; an act of attention and awareness, a process of presentness and noticing. Thanks again!
The cubicle is the crucible of existence! haha! i think one of the most incredible things about the medium is the wide variance of of methods each artist brings to the material. The way each artist can utilize sources in a near infinite number of ways.
Have always found your work inspiring on insta - a constant 'wish I could do that' moment and delighted to find you here. Hope your Kolaj Fest experience helps you dismiss the sense of being an imposter which is truly undeserved.
this is beautifully written, beautifully felt. i can really relate to that feeling of embarrassment and shame around my artistic work. i too want to recede in the background, not cause a fuss. not cause any sort of emotional response in others, maybe because i feel so deeply, and it's hard for others to understand.
i also think some of it, for me, is i find it hard to explain to people who don't make work every day, don't have that obsession, that quasi-spiritual pull with art. they look at me like i'm insane. and yet, i'm finding that that embarrassment lifts when i'm showing it to other artists, people who understand that life and dedication. plus, i like to remind myself as i'm spending hours on collages or music: "it's better than Facebook." so much less embarrassing than those that bleed out their lives on social media, doing nothing but scrolling.
your collages are absolutely beautiful and deep. thank you for sharing.
Wow! Thank you for such a gorgeous reply! Every word resonates with me. The impulse, the drive, the obsession, the longing, the felt connections, and the deep spiritual need, all the things that are so prescient for the artist but almost impossible to explain to anyone who doesn’t know.
It’s of the reasons some sense of community is so integral. To be able to realize, for at least a few short moments, that you’re not crazy. To get to own your weird with others. To know that you’re ok and you’re not alone, the two things that everyone most needs. The two things that all art seeks to prove.
Thanks again for this!
ha yes, i often feel slightly crazy around in-laws or others that don't quite get it. glad to find a little community here!
Glad to be in good company!
Great Duane! I share your experience. I remember some traveling exhibition I attended and the feeling I had and yes, something changed in the way I related to my work. Thanks for sharing.
Hey Carlos! Always good to hear from you! That sounds like an incredible experience! It’s amazing the impact it makes, isn’t it? Thanks for reading!
Don't be too hard on yourself… as creative souls we all suffer through this dilemma frequently. I think it's 1) exposing a side of self in how we view the world that's touches creation yet makes a bold statement. The fears of "what if's "running rampant that underpin this feeling of exposing our art to a world that may not get what we're doing and why we create. 2) It's much like a child. Creative people tend to be protective of their voices and hands and what creative expression comes from them. We also learn how to loosen the strings and show who we are through writing. Through art. Through music and the like…
When we step out of comfort zone and shine. Look what happens. A beautiful example of stepping forward with your artistry. Art, no matter its creative expression or substrate is a powerful healing tool. Whaat I like about collage is that blend of destruction and creation. I know some people have issue with ripping and tearing books, pages, paper. I get that. I read and own books that I wouldn't destroy. At the same time it's way cool to find a book that was left to be decomposed. It gets repurposed into something beautiful and imaginative, that's enjoyed by many.
Art.is.try and ICAD and your work showcase this. Well done. Great set of ICAD's that go with your writing.
Perfectly written! Poignant and succinct! i think you're absolutely right. We are so full of worries, doubts, anxieties. So much noise clamouring. And yet, art is teh circle drawn around the quiet place in teh center of everything. The place where the silence speaks. Where we can be both armored and open. Protected and vulnerable. Strong and welcoming.
Collage as creative destruction is perfect way to put it! Love that!
Thanks so much! I always look forward to hearing from you!
Never perfect…haha. I have experienced, like all creative souls those same struggles within my own creativity and writing. I like that when we’re able to settle the noise, sit in the stillness our creativity begins to flow freely. Doubts are then distilled. It’s a good and safe place to be in. Thank you for your thoughts… they are appreciated.
Couldn't agree more! It becomes a meditative space of noticing presence, attention, awareness, and ease.
I don’t tell people in real life I make art. If they ever come into my house, they might figure out that I made all the art. I am glad you got to go and be surrounded by a bunch of artists who share your love of collage, I bet it felt a bit like coming home ☺️. Thanks for this beautiful and thoughtful piece, I’ll have to reread it and think about my own motivations for being art shy.
Thanks Jenn! I think many of us find art because we find it so difficult to share parts of ourselves any other way. "Coming home" is exactly how I'd describe, exactly what it felt like, exactly what it was. It's not something I've ever really felt anywherre before. I've met people that make me feel safe, people that have allowed me to feel comfortable in my own skin. But, I've never been so fully immersed in a profound sense of beloning, like it was somewhere I've always been.
That does make a lot is sense. I am so happy that you found yourself in that state of pure and profound belonging ❤️
Collaging is a solitary art practice that events like Kolajfest counterbalances it. So happy to hear you had a good experience! And that you came out inspired. I have yet to attend an in person event. In the meantime, I’m excited to meet collage artist like you here on Substack! Wonderful work— let’s keep going.
Thanks Stella! It has been an absolutel pleasure getting to meet you! I look forward to seeing your work every week! If you ever get the chance to attend an event like this I highly recommend it! It really is incredible!
These are beautiful and I just loved your essay. I can so relate to wanting to be invisible but then you can't be.
Thank you! Glad it's not just me! I'm so grateful I wasn't able to stay invisible at Kolaj Fest. I met so many incredible people, made so many wonderful connections, garnered so many new old friends!
I had a somewhat similar at AWP, where I felt like part of a community of poets rather than being in competition.
Duane, as you sink deeper into the cycle of making and offering these gifts back into the world, I’m excited to see what emerges from it. Your work is individual and intriguing. I love your style.
Thank you for your generous sharing here.
So generous and kind of you! Thank you so much! I appreciate you!
Por supuesto, te deseo suerte en tu presentación.
Me encanta leer este tipo de artículos porque me siento muy identificada, hay ciertos aspectos de la vida que te llevan a buscar un lugar de refugio y el collage es uno de ellos, lo que al final resulta muy gratificante.
Muchas Gracias Por Leer! ¡"Refugio" es la manera perfecta de describirlo! Es un refugio, un templo, un santuario. ¡Gracias de nuevo!
A lot of gold in here, Duane. I loved reading your story so much that I went back to read Part 1. I have a good feeling about Prague, sending good energy your way.
Collage as an art form is very new to me, but it’s been fascinating reading about your journey into the medium. This piece in particular shed light on what it means to you and I appreciated it very much. Beautiful work, too
Thanks for reading Taegan! I appreciate it! I've been doing collage for a few years, but it's only been in teh past two that I've started taking it seriously, that I've started to allow myself to really lean into it. To admit that it's something far deeper and more meaningful than a hobby or a way to past the time at the end of the day. It's the way I've found my creative voice. It's something akin to a vocation. It's one of the ways I feel at home in the world.
So brave of you to share your story! I was overwhelmed at the Artisan Cafe, and felt the same wanting to disappear feeling. But folks were so nice and warm and welcoming! So happy to have met you, and love your work!
Thanks Zelda! I've never met a crowd i didn't want to hide from, lol, but after a day of being at Kolaj Fest it just felt like being with family and friends. It was such a tremendous pleasure meeting you! Thoroughly enjoyed sharing a collage table table and loved getting to rip and tear with you!
Great job capturing the welcoming feel of Kolaj Fest! It really is an energizing and engaging community of artists. Warm as New Orleans in June. Glad you made it
Thanks man! I’m still reveling in the afterglow, lol! So grateful to have been there and to have met you. I will definitely be back next year and every year that follows!
So glad you found collage and are sharing your experiences. I've always considered it therapy.
It really is such a welcoming community. I think more people are also realizing it is a true art form + it's so much more accessible than most art practices.
Best of luck with the open call!
Thanks so much Errin! Collage is absolutely therapeutic for me. It’s my greatest source of catharsis. Over the past couple years I’ve found that it’s becomign an extension of my meditation practice; an act of attention and awareness, a process of presentness and noticing. Thanks again!
So great! Cubicle life can be rough, right!? Collage is helpful in so many ways, it's incredible to see how much people enjoy the process.
The cubicle is the crucible of existence! haha! i think one of the most incredible things about the medium is the wide variance of of methods each artist brings to the material. The way each artist can utilize sources in a near infinite number of ways.
Yes! So many options yet we each find our way.
Exactly! It's always astonishing!
Oh, and good luck with your submission, I love it and my other favorite is “The View From Here” , though they’re all quite good.
Thank you so much! That one's one of my favorites too! thanks again!
Have always found your work inspiring on insta - a constant 'wish I could do that' moment and delighted to find you here. Hope your Kolaj Fest experience helps you dismiss the sense of being an imposter which is truly undeserved.