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Ann Collins's avatar

New mercies every morning. I don't think that's wishful thinking. Generosity is the fuel for everything worth making.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thanks Ann! In so many other parts of my life I'm cold and distant. Detached and standoffish. Closed and unavailable. But for one reason or another, it's creativity that always makes me want to find a way to be more open and giving.

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Ann Collins's avatar

p.s. I think these pieces are some of your best work. I guess this proves you don’t need a Vault—nor any specific place—to do what you do so well.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Wow! That's quite the complement. Thank you! My work has changed since the vault. Not only in how it feels but also in how it appears. It's not as loose of as playful. It's lost some of it's lightness. It's not as free flowing. The work has gotten a bit darker. Perhaps more brooding. There's a tension that wasn't there before. A struggle. As result I think it's gotten simpler in a way. Perhaps more minimal. It's been difficult for me to accept it for what it is. To appreciate it for what it's become or becoming. Mostly I look at it see all the ways it's not what it used to be. My task at the moment is to find what to see it differently. Thanks again!

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Barb Pearson's avatar

These collages are so powerful and this advice is so timely for me. I have been going through all my art supplies because I have my home up for sale, ( some that i have been holding onto for decades I am embarrassed to say) and asking myself why I continue to hold onto them? Many of these are pieces of paper that I use in my mixed media paintings and I have labelled them as precious. Yikes! Today I start "spending it all". Wish me luck to take the plunge. Thankyou for your encouragement.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thanks Bard! I appreciate it! Nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s so easy to cradle and cling to things. So much of the creative process becomes precious for so many reasons, even when we’re not sure of them, but there’s something rejuvenating in the letting go, in the making room. It’s exciting to see what arrives when we make room to open ourselves to it. Thanks again! Best of luck to you!!

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Richard's avatar

Always grateful for your sharing - an abundance of inspiration in your collages and videos.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thanks Richard! I’m always grateful for you sharing you experiments and explorations, that get me exciting about making things!

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Joel Lambeth's avatar

I know that everyone loves dropping in Rick Rubin quotes these days, but your post reminded me of this one:

"Hanging on to your work is like spending years writing the same entry in a diary. Moments and opportunities are lost. The next works are robbed of being brought to life."

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Duane Toops's avatar

Totally agree! Letting it go, ‘spending it’ as Dillard would say, feels like clearing my desk, like making space for the next piece of work that’s on its way. Thanks Joel!

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Erika Jean Simon's avatar

I find your thoughtful essay persuasive and moving. Fear is real. Thank you for sharing your words and collages. I especially like the last one.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thanks so much Rika! I appreciate it!

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Kevin Davis's avatar

I like them all, but esp. the "sensation shattering" yellow and black.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thanks so much Kevin! For a while I was trying to incorporate my own photography into my collages. The yellow is part of an up close picture of a piece of machinery from a construction site that I may or may not have been trespassing in, haha.

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Anne Silver Mondinot's avatar

Wonderfully written! Such wise words, ones that I will come back to again and again. Anxiety definitely plays a role when I hold onto work. But like you said, once we let go of something, a shift happens and space opens up for something else to step in. Your collages are so compelling too. I’m really drawn to the last one. Those reds and blues, the shapes and lines… simply beautiful!

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thanks so much Anne! t’s definitely something I have to remind myself of again and again. So glad you found it helpful. Thank you so much for your kind words!

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Davin Trail-Risk's avatar

Love this work you are making lately. I know it comes with struggle but for me there is a power in that friction that makes it inside the frame. A lack of resolution can sometimes be what’s needed.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thanks so much Davin! Everything changes. Some changes we welcome and look forward to.. Some we avoid and abhor. My work has definitely started to become different than it was. In and of itself, this isn’t a bad thing. One hopes to be growing and developing. But for me I think it’s been a difficult shift because it wasn’t one I wanted or one I asked for. Some changes are like this too. Thrust upon us capriciously. Unexpectedly. Some times precious things are lost before we’re ready to lose them. Some places that feel like home become places we can never return to. There is no regaining what’s gone, just the slow work of relearning to live in the absences. I can appreciate my work for what it was, now I’m trying to appreciate it for what it is. Thanks again!

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Davin Trail-Risk's avatar

I’m in a different situation than you but I also understand. I haven’t made any new art in a month. It has grown into a bit of a dread of what will happen when I go back.

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Duane Toops's avatar

I can understand that, at least in a similar way. After I moved out of my studio and set up my work bench in my room, it took me about a week or so to work up the nerve to go back to working on it. I was afraid that I would find all the magic missing, and to some extent it was true. It felt clumsy and cumbersome, awkward and uncomfortable. It still does truth be told. But we do the work not because the magic is guaranteed, but because the work itself is worth doing. What will happen when you go back? It’s hard to say. Maybe you’ll struggle and stumble and come up empty. Maybe all your fears will turn out to be false. The mystery is part of the process I suppose. Whatever happens, I’m mostly sure of one thing, I think you’ll you think it was worth it too.

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Manuela Thames's avatar

The first collage is 👌! And your words are as usual so helpful and on point.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thank you Manuela! So kind of you!

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Neil Barker's avatar

I have found this to be so true: "The more you give away, the more it all comes back to you. This is creativity made sustainable. A method of infinite renewability." That sharing often comes back in many unexpected forms in positive ways. Thanks for sharing, Duane. I like that collage of the sheep - very cool and interesting.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thanks Neil! You’re absolutely right. I’ve been doing some tutorials recently and it never fails that some takes some process or method that I’m demonstrating and does something I never thought to do before, I end up learning just as if not more.

Glad you liked “breathe in knowing” I’ve been struggling to find my rhythm lately, so I’ve been trying some different approached to source material. This was a very different kind of structure for me, but there was almost something peaceful about it. I think I might like to tr and explore it more.

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Dan Jandl's avatar

These are all excellent. "breathe in knowing" really grabbed me. "Spend it all" is a great message.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thanks so much Dan! Glad you liked “breathe in knowing” I was hesitant about that one, because it’s quite different than my usual way of using source material. But I think there’s something interesting there that I’d like to keep playing with. Thanks again!

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Poetry Symposium's avatar

To cut the line that lives ../:.

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Duane Toops's avatar

probably one of my favorites piece and definitely one of my favorite titles in this collection. Thanks so much!

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