I hate how hard things are for you right now. But, I can't help thinking that you will make something interesting from these fragments. It's what you do. And go listen to the podcast--especially the last few minutes. I hope you might hear it like encouragement from past-you to future-you.
I am not one of those people who say one door closes and another opens. I do say it sucks that you lost your day job and your studio. That is absolutely crushing and hard to manage.
Grieve. Write as you have done today.
Your art is a haven for me. I hope it can be one for you as well.
Thank you Gloria. It’s been hard, to say the least. It’s been a struggle to stay hopeful. To imagine a way forward. But I’m glad to hear that some part of what I’m still able to do can provide some sense respite in the world. Thanks again.
Sorry that things suck at this moment, Duane. While you are shifting the way you work to your mini-studio, you are kind of reinventing your process. You will find a way back into the groove. As a side note, several times each year I shift between mediums and it never fails that I go thru a period of disorientation until it starts to make sense again. You're in the in-between. Cheering you on!
Thanks Tammy. There's certainly a lot of sshifting at the moment. I'm a person that thrives on routine and at the moment I have none, it's to try to create them knowing that it will all need to shift again once I can get back to work. But what can we do. It's part of the process. Thanks for all your kind words.🙏🙏🙏
Life gets complicated many more times than desired or expected, if anything can be foreseen at all. I hope you can soon get out of this rut and continue enjoying your collage practice.
Wow, I am so sorry to hear that you lost your day job and your studio!
I honestly don’t know what to say except that life truly sucks at times. I hope that you can find a place and rhythm to continue making your collages and that it can help you to get through this time. Always remember that you are a maker, an amazing maker!
Thanks Manuela. It really does suck inexplicably sometimes. I’ve carved out a small work area at home. The work is not as free flowing as it was. I’m finding it much more difficult to do. It’s a bit of a struggle at the moment. I haven’t yet found a new rhythm, but some things have to happen slowly I suppose. Thanks again for your support!
Duane, I am so sorry to hear you have been laid off and had to let your studio go. This is heartbreaking for you on top of an already upside down world. Thank you for continuing to share your beautiful words and art with us when things are hard.
Hi Donna, thank you. I appreciate it. It’s been a lot to deal with and take in. But mine are small matters in the face of such an already upside down world. And yet, I heard someone say recently that suffering is relative, that pain is pain. Sometimes there’s a tension between the guilt over the hurt you feel and the recognition that the hurt it’s valid. Grace can be a difficult gift to give, it’s even harder to give yourself. Thanks again, Donna.
These are beautiful words Duane. That tension between the guilt and the pain is such a fine line. I am working on a series about guilt right now and you nailed one aspect of it here. The kind of guilt we feel that isn't actually guilt but still feels bad.
I hope you will achieve some balance soon. Losing your job is such a massive destabiliser in so many ways. It punctures a hole in everything. It’s devastatingly shit.
I was a massive compartmentaliser with certain/most people when I had a corporate job. I had a sense that it meant I painted myself into a corner, that I maybe made things more difficult for myself, but it worked for me. I understand the impetus, absolutely.
Your work has such a feel to it. Maybe melancholy, maybe tight, maybe dark in light, maybe filtered through my sense of the world. I very much enjoy it.
I’ve been exploring photography, using my dad’s first camera that he bought as a student - a Pentax KM. Black and white Ilford film. I need to re-expand beyond words.
Give yourself some time and patience. You deserve that, at the very least.
Thanks Zivah, you're absolutely right. Routines are strong practices. They build impressive structures of will power, discipline, and consistency. But, they are also fragile ecosystems. One thing out of balance disrupts the entirety of it's functioning. When that happens it's almost like having to relearn how to be in the world all over again.
Thank you for your kind words. I think you're right again in describing the feel of my work. There is always an underlying melancholy to it. Always an interplay of light and dark, not so much as oppositions but as dance partners. That joy and sadness are always somehow intermingled.
I'm so excited to hear you experimenting with photography. I think it's such an incredible medium. My work tends to be so photocentric because deep down I wish I could be a photographer, lol. Your father's camera sounds amazing, and the fact that it was his already brings so much richness to your explorations. I really hope you'll share some of what you do with it. I'd love to see it. Thanks again!
I think I see the melancholia because it runs through me, too.
I love photography, and I haven't done enough. My problem is that I enjoy so many creative outlets and I refuse to be niched! A true amateur, in the original sense of the word, lol :D
I love your Substack. Words and art combined. You've inspired me. I have a little venture planned, using a very cheap kids' toy camera that produces thermal prints. That should free me up, hopefully.
In the meantime - the very best of luck with finding your equilibrium and a new job very soon.
Your writing is just as vital and expansive as your visual art. You add dimension and value when you send your work into the world. I feel heartache at your loss of work and work space; and I hope you will soon have new iterations of both. Please keep showing up and creating despite the internal and literal obstacles. There are wonders awaiting release, waiting for you.
Thank you Kim! The past week has been a real struggle. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve found myself thinking about quitting, about whether or not it’s really worth it, about whether or not I want to keep going. It’s as if something broke that I don’t know how to fix yet. I think it really is just a matter of time and patience. Thanks for your support Kim. Means a lot to me.
Interesting. One of most interesting aspects of what I do as a government bureaucrat is to blend the lines. Of course, not too much (professional boundaries are there for good reason), but I feel that in sharing myself, I'm better able to relate to the folks I work with. It's an interesting dance that might end badly one day, but I like living on that gray zone of personal and bureaucratic relationships.
That said I'm a TMI sort of guy so it might be more of a personality thing.
There’s an exception to every rule, lol. The gray areas are often the most intriguing. Love the perspective you shared hear, brings a different level of understanding to teh whole thing. Thank you!
This expresses the fickle nature of creative work so well. I have felt this in my way. Sometimes things flow and other times (occasionally for long stretches) the stream dries up. It will flow again for you.
Thanks Davin. You’re absolutely right. When you hit a long stretch of flow and productivity, it’s easy to forget that there’s a seasonality to creativity. That winter is never far removed from spring. And when the fallowness arrives its hard to remember that spring is something that returns again and again.
Really sorry to hear about the day job, maybe some opportunity may come of this? Listening to podcast now on the way into town to a book launch. Really interesting piece. Good to hear your voice. Yes to all I've heard. Do you know the work of X. P. Callahan here on Substack? Came to mind.
Also this quote from The Marginalian...
'Here is the great hoax of culture: If you are a musician with legions of fans, if you are an artist with legions of collectors and admirers, if you are a writer with legions of readers and subscribers, it is not because legions of strangers have impartially esteemed you as a staggering creative genius. It is because what you make is making the lives of legions of strangers more livable for them — nourishing some malnourished part of them, helping them commune with some alienated part of themselves, mirroring and magnifying and clarifying their own experience'.
[...]
'While good art — be it a painting or a poem, a novel or a song — makes our ordinary lives more livable, great art makes them transcendent. It casts a spell of enchantment on the moment and on the epochs, transporting us both away from and deeper into the common plane of living, unlatching some new dimension of consciousness that clarifies us to ourselves'.
Keep up the brilliant work Duane! The collaborations and solo pieces are all of the above.
Thanks Siodhna. Glad you enjoyed the interview. Ken was a wonderful conversation partner. So many great questions. I'm not familiar with X. P. Callahan. I'll have to check them out. Thanks for the recommendation.
Just wow! That passage from The Marginalia! Stunningly gorgeous and overwhelming in a wonderful way! Thank for sharing that with me! Thank you so much for your support!
Just when you realised that the uninspiring day job was a fine balance with your studio work…hopefully something will turn up soon. One door closes and another one opens. Come take a break in London and exchange for a bed you could organise my scraps into your incredible strip system. I’m drowning in the chaos of my scraps and materials and the world keeps supplying me with more.
I hope you find space at home to set up. Your work is beautiful. Your interview gave so much. Thank you.
Thanks so much Emily. It seems like a cruel irony, doesn’t it? “This too shall pass” is a phrase that cuts both ways it seems.
I’ve always had a fondness for teh UK, lol. Organizing can be tricky because it has to be specific to you and the work you do. There’s no one-size fits all, and I think a certain degree of chaos is always necessary in any creative pursuit. Part of the trick is to be very honest with yourself about what materials you will use versus what materials you think you might use. It helps to pay close attention to what your work actually consists, i.e. old paper, typography, comic books, photography, vintage magazines, etc. What do you always want to have included in your work, and how do you like to use them? Once you have an idea of that you can prepare those things in advance and have them readily accessible so you’re not interrupting your flow to try to find them. Hope that helps some. Feel free to message me anytime and we can talk about it more, happy to help in anyway I can.
My pleasure! That's always the best place to start. Now you've got me thinking even more about it. I might try to make a video for my paid subscribers about this process. Thanks for the inspiration!
Thanks Joel. It’s strange how things you don’t value get tied to things you do. I didn’t derive any sense of meaning or satisfaction from my day job, but it supported my studio. I’m definitely not alone dealing with this problem. It’s something most makers have to deal with at some point. But it still sucks. Thanks again Joel. I appreciate you.
I hate how hard things are for you right now. But, I can't help thinking that you will make something interesting from these fragments. It's what you do. And go listen to the podcast--especially the last few minutes. I hope you might hear it like encouragement from past-you to future-you.
Thanks Ann. I’ll have to try and give a listen sometime this week. I appreciate it. Thanks again.
I am not one of those people who say one door closes and another opens. I do say it sucks that you lost your day job and your studio. That is absolutely crushing and hard to manage.
Grieve. Write as you have done today.
Your art is a haven for me. I hope it can be one for you as well.
Thank you Gloria. It’s been hard, to say the least. It’s been a struggle to stay hopeful. To imagine a way forward. But I’m glad to hear that some part of what I’m still able to do can provide some sense respite in the world. Thanks again.
Sorry that things suck at this moment, Duane. While you are shifting the way you work to your mini-studio, you are kind of reinventing your process. You will find a way back into the groove. As a side note, several times each year I shift between mediums and it never fails that I go thru a period of disorientation until it starts to make sense again. You're in the in-between. Cheering you on!
Thanks Tammy. There's certainly a lot of sshifting at the moment. I'm a person that thrives on routine and at the moment I have none, it's to try to create them knowing that it will all need to shift again once I can get back to work. But what can we do. It's part of the process. Thanks for all your kind words.🙏🙏🙏
Life gets complicated many more times than desired or expected, if anything can be foreseen at all. I hope you can soon get out of this rut and continue enjoying your collage practice.
Thanks so much, Sonia! I appreciate you and your work! I'm hoping I can find my rhythm again soon.
Wow, I am so sorry to hear that you lost your day job and your studio!
I honestly don’t know what to say except that life truly sucks at times. I hope that you can find a place and rhythm to continue making your collages and that it can help you to get through this time. Always remember that you are a maker, an amazing maker!
The world needs your work!
Thanks Manuela. It really does suck inexplicably sometimes. I’ve carved out a small work area at home. The work is not as free flowing as it was. I’m finding it much more difficult to do. It’s a bit of a struggle at the moment. I haven’t yet found a new rhythm, but some things have to happen slowly I suppose. Thanks again for your support!
Duane, I am so sorry to hear you have been laid off and had to let your studio go. This is heartbreaking for you on top of an already upside down world. Thank you for continuing to share your beautiful words and art with us when things are hard.
Hi Donna, thank you. I appreciate it. It’s been a lot to deal with and take in. But mine are small matters in the face of such an already upside down world. And yet, I heard someone say recently that suffering is relative, that pain is pain. Sometimes there’s a tension between the guilt over the hurt you feel and the recognition that the hurt it’s valid. Grace can be a difficult gift to give, it’s even harder to give yourself. Thanks again, Donna.
These are beautiful words Duane. That tension between the guilt and the pain is such a fine line. I am working on a series about guilt right now and you nailed one aspect of it here. The kind of guilt we feel that isn't actually guilt but still feels bad.
Take care.
Thanks so much Donna. That sounds like a great series, I'd love to read it!
I hope you will achieve some balance soon. Losing your job is such a massive destabiliser in so many ways. It punctures a hole in everything. It’s devastatingly shit.
I was a massive compartmentaliser with certain/most people when I had a corporate job. I had a sense that it meant I painted myself into a corner, that I maybe made things more difficult for myself, but it worked for me. I understand the impetus, absolutely.
Your work has such a feel to it. Maybe melancholy, maybe tight, maybe dark in light, maybe filtered through my sense of the world. I very much enjoy it.
I’ve been exploring photography, using my dad’s first camera that he bought as a student - a Pentax KM. Black and white Ilford film. I need to re-expand beyond words.
Give yourself some time and patience. You deserve that, at the very least.
Thanks Zivah, you're absolutely right. Routines are strong practices. They build impressive structures of will power, discipline, and consistency. But, they are also fragile ecosystems. One thing out of balance disrupts the entirety of it's functioning. When that happens it's almost like having to relearn how to be in the world all over again.
Thank you for your kind words. I think you're right again in describing the feel of my work. There is always an underlying melancholy to it. Always an interplay of light and dark, not so much as oppositions but as dance partners. That joy and sadness are always somehow intermingled.
I'm so excited to hear you experimenting with photography. I think it's such an incredible medium. My work tends to be so photocentric because deep down I wish I could be a photographer, lol. Your father's camera sounds amazing, and the fact that it was his already brings so much richness to your explorations. I really hope you'll share some of what you do with it. I'd love to see it. Thanks again!
I think I see the melancholia because it runs through me, too.
I love photography, and I haven't done enough. My problem is that I enjoy so many creative outlets and I refuse to be niched! A true amateur, in the original sense of the word, lol :D
I love your Substack. Words and art combined. You've inspired me. I have a little venture planned, using a very cheap kids' toy camera that produces thermal prints. That should free me up, hopefully.
In the meantime - the very best of luck with finding your equilibrium and a new job very soon.
Like calls to like as they say.
Dabble to your heart’s content I say!
I love the photography/thermal print idea! That sounds exciting! Can’t wait to see what you come up with.
Your writing is just as vital and expansive as your visual art. You add dimension and value when you send your work into the world. I feel heartache at your loss of work and work space; and I hope you will soon have new iterations of both. Please keep showing up and creating despite the internal and literal obstacles. There are wonders awaiting release, waiting for you.
Thank you Kim! The past week has been a real struggle. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve found myself thinking about quitting, about whether or not it’s really worth it, about whether or not I want to keep going. It’s as if something broke that I don’t know how to fix yet. I think it really is just a matter of time and patience. Thanks for your support Kim. Means a lot to me.
I get it.
Interesting. One of most interesting aspects of what I do as a government bureaucrat is to blend the lines. Of course, not too much (professional boundaries are there for good reason), but I feel that in sharing myself, I'm better able to relate to the folks I work with. It's an interesting dance that might end badly one day, but I like living on that gray zone of personal and bureaucratic relationships.
That said I'm a TMI sort of guy so it might be more of a personality thing.
There’s an exception to every rule, lol. The gray areas are often the most intriguing. Love the perspective you shared hear, brings a different level of understanding to teh whole thing. Thank you!
This expresses the fickle nature of creative work so well. I have felt this in my way. Sometimes things flow and other times (occasionally for long stretches) the stream dries up. It will flow again for you.
Thanks Davin. You’re absolutely right. When you hit a long stretch of flow and productivity, it’s easy to forget that there’s a seasonality to creativity. That winter is never far removed from spring. And when the fallowness arrives its hard to remember that spring is something that returns again and again.
Really sorry to hear about the day job, maybe some opportunity may come of this? Listening to podcast now on the way into town to a book launch. Really interesting piece. Good to hear your voice. Yes to all I've heard. Do you know the work of X. P. Callahan here on Substack? Came to mind.
Also this quote from The Marginalian...
'Here is the great hoax of culture: If you are a musician with legions of fans, if you are an artist with legions of collectors and admirers, if you are a writer with legions of readers and subscribers, it is not because legions of strangers have impartially esteemed you as a staggering creative genius. It is because what you make is making the lives of legions of strangers more livable for them — nourishing some malnourished part of them, helping them commune with some alienated part of themselves, mirroring and magnifying and clarifying their own experience'.
[...]
'While good art — be it a painting or a poem, a novel or a song — makes our ordinary lives more livable, great art makes them transcendent. It casts a spell of enchantment on the moment and on the epochs, transporting us both away from and deeper into the common plane of living, unlatching some new dimension of consciousness that clarifies us to ourselves'.
Keep up the brilliant work Duane! The collaborations and solo pieces are all of the above.
Thanks Siodhna. Glad you enjoyed the interview. Ken was a wonderful conversation partner. So many great questions. I'm not familiar with X. P. Callahan. I'll have to check them out. Thanks for the recommendation.
Just wow! That passage from The Marginalia! Stunningly gorgeous and overwhelming in a wonderful way! Thank for sharing that with me! Thank you so much for your support!
Just when you realised that the uninspiring day job was a fine balance with your studio work…hopefully something will turn up soon. One door closes and another one opens. Come take a break in London and exchange for a bed you could organise my scraps into your incredible strip system. I’m drowning in the chaos of my scraps and materials and the world keeps supplying me with more.
I hope you find space at home to set up. Your work is beautiful. Your interview gave so much. Thank you.
Thanks so much Emily. It seems like a cruel irony, doesn’t it? “This too shall pass” is a phrase that cuts both ways it seems.
I’ve always had a fondness for teh UK, lol. Organizing can be tricky because it has to be specific to you and the work you do. There’s no one-size fits all, and I think a certain degree of chaos is always necessary in any creative pursuit. Part of the trick is to be very honest with yourself about what materials you will use versus what materials you think you might use. It helps to pay close attention to what your work actually consists, i.e. old paper, typography, comic books, photography, vintage magazines, etc. What do you always want to have included in your work, and how do you like to use them? Once you have an idea of that you can prepare those things in advance and have them readily accessible so you’re not interrupting your flow to try to find them. Hope that helps some. Feel free to message me anytime and we can talk about it more, happy to help in anyway I can.
Thank you! I’m sure I’ll take you up on your kind offer. The key thing is that you got me thinking about it again!
My pleasure! That's always the best place to start. Now you've got me thinking even more about it. I might try to make a video for my paid subscribers about this process. Thanks for the inspiration!
I'm sorry to read about you losing your studio. I'm sorry about your job too, but moreso about the studio. I hope you find some direction again soon.
Thanks Joel. It’s strange how things you don’t value get tied to things you do. I didn’t derive any sense of meaning or satisfaction from my day job, but it supported my studio. I’m definitely not alone dealing with this problem. It’s something most makers have to deal with at some point. But it still sucks. Thanks again Joel. I appreciate you.