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Victoria SkyDancer's avatar

Loved the images that went along with the words, though the words were also splendid (as usual).

I would call myself a hybrid writer, analog artist. I write out my first drafts longhand, then transcribe them into Word so I can manipulate the text more easily. The art - I get into the process more fully by cutting out the images, moving them around, then gluing them down; or holding onto the pencil, laying the color down on the paper, then using an eraser to smoothe out the line. I'll keep it up until my hands, slowly stiffened by arthritis, declare, "Enough!" Because, you know...

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Duane Toops's avatar

I relate to this so much. That's the really interesting thing, isn't it? The way the process changes over time. The way it changes us.

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Charlie Boyy's avatar

If I'm at my desk for too many consecutive days, my writing shifts, and I'm in need of the couch. Then the couch becomes to uncomfortable because the lack of back support. So I attempt to tend to the writing earlier in the day. Night time work almost never comes out like day time work, and all work styles never seem to stay consistent. If my fingers aren't on the keyboard, the same as yesterdays writing, it affects the entire session. I post anyways, because the shit should be documented. Fuckin mess really, but hey. Bring that along also. If my feet don't nestle properly as I type I have to take repeated breaks to attempt to reframe the track I was on. I can't seem to figure my writing style out. Although I enjoy the fluidity of it all, no style is my style, BONSAI !!!!

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Duane Toops's avatar

It's exactly this, isn't it? As soon as you think you have it sorted you discover you don't know shit. As soon as you think you're getting closer you find out you don't have a fucking clue. It's trying to hit a moving target in pitch black room. You can never know for sure if you've done it, so you keep swing just to be safe. Thanks for reading!

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Charlie Boyy's avatar

A moving target in a pitch black room the size of an Amazon warehouse hahaha. That's right though, I'd have to agree, can't hit the ball if we step off the plate. Of course, I really appreciated running into it, the timing is incredible while stumbling into work on this platform.

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Duane Toops's avatar

Accurate! 😂 Much appreciated!

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Cheryl Rutledge-Brennecke's avatar

Love the digital art! I could ‘lift’ the inspiration, if only I had time.

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Apostolis Kallioras's avatar

That was strong, fast-paced, and the rhythm kept going! Loved it!

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thank you so much! That's one of the best compliments I can ask for. I'm always trying to capture that sense of urgency that exists within my creative process. I don't know what it says about me as a writer but I care far more about the way words feel and sound than anything else. I spend so much time pacing back and forth and reading aloud looking for the rhythm, the pulse, the heartbeat, the punctuated breathing. Thanks again!

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Apostolis Kallioras's avatar

It shows my friend! You are doing good work! —whatever that means 🙃

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Duane Toops's avatar

I'll take it! I appreciate you! Means a lot to me that you take the time to read and comment, it's a pleasure chatting with you.

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Maurissa's avatar

I really enjoyed the pace and strong sense of rhythm in this. I appreciate the messy thoughts and better questions!

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Duane Toops's avatar

Thank you so much! I take that as a high compliment. Rhythm and cadence and pacing are the things that devote most of my time to. The messiness just comes naturally, lol. Thanks again for reading! It means a lot to me!

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T Van Santāna's avatar

Free crowdsourced copy editing: "If you're night owl" needs an 'a.'

As for the content, two things come to mind ...

First was ... is this a subtweet? 😄

Second: there is at least *one* known way out ... 😏☸️

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Duane Toops's avatar

What my newsletter really needs is to be written by someone else.

"Is this a subtweet?" - I don't think I understand the question. Perhaps I'm just slow (highly likely).

"One known way out" - I'm sorry, I'm striking out all over the place today. It's been an incredibly shitty morning, you've lost me.

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T Van Santāna's avatar

No worries on either! 😊

Subtweeting is, per Oxford: "(on the social media application Twitter) a post that refers to a particular user without directly mentioning them, typically as a form of furtive mockery or criticism." The lines that made me wonder were: "When the muses start reenacting Mean Girls. When it turns toxic and unhealthy and depressing? How do you take a breath and walk away?" And I was kind of kidding 😉

My 'one known way out' with the smirk at the Dharma wheel icon was meant to refer to the Noble Eightfold Path, which is often literally described as 'the way out' of Samsara and suffering. Again, I was being a bit cheeky, even though I do consider myself Buddhist, more or less.

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Duane Toops's avatar

so sorry been a rough day. New year depression compounded by beig sick compounded by returning to work after vacation.

It's been a number of years since I was on twitter. I suppose if I was subtweeting, I was subtweeting myself (subtweeting to myself? about myself? not sure I get it). Those passages were directed at me regarding my own engagement with the creative process. My relationship to creativity is often dysfunctional, verging on, if not outright, abusive. The thing that makes life worth living is also the thing that makes me wish I had never been born. The thing that helps to ease sting of daily living is also the source of my misery.

I should have caught the reference to the 8 fold path. I'm definitely off my game today. At one point in time I considered myself a buddhist, studied seriously under a teacher, took householder vows, etc. I proved to be a less than apt pupil. Incapable of making it to the third noble truth much less the 8 fold path. Part of me still think about being a part of the Buddhist community. But, as my second favorite Marx once said, I'd never join a club that would have me as a member.

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T Van Santāna's avatar

Aw, Duane, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. And I'm sorry to have caused any confusion. I was trying to kid around a bit, but I know first-hand how depression muddies everything.

I can see your Buddhism showing in many places, so perhaps you're not as bad a pupil as you think? Most people would never even think to find a teacher, much less take the vows, so. Take me, for example. I'm a secret student. My teachers don't know I'm their student. I just listen and try to make use of it. In part because, like you, I'm not really a club joiner. And in part because I tend to rebel against authority in ways that are counterproductive to my actual learning. So I do it in secret, renounce what I can in private.

Anyway, I hope your day turns around. Each breath is a new chance. ✨️

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